Our Ghostly Twin

1.    Our ghostly twin, unseen, unsung,
The guest whose name is left unsaid,
We look away, no manly shake,
Forgotten fate, a faceless lump
Left walked around, a twitching thread –
A puppet clown, a tight-rope fool,
A circus prop, blind cannon ball,
A ghastly sight, left sight unseen, 
A date declined…like falling cards
The deal is done… when death is dealt…!

2.    Dark the room with curtain pulled,
Beyond a city view not seen 
Like resting man in patient bed…
Eyes tightly shut, his world askew…
A busy toilet with sighing flush,
A sore stomach with fertile sound 
In hunger felt inflated; 
A hollow cavern not yet 
A self-evident empty vat…
Practice filled with queasy doubt,
Outlined on paper chart,
A humble mane bent low,
Cut down, exposed for what we are…
Not much more… than the way we came…
Take heart O ancient friend
Such fevered bugs takes one in four 
And dreaded date with death
We thankful see, with quickened glance,
Is not upon your open door…!

3.    Lump-like, a clotted bung in growth
Has sealed the lung, a drowning fish
In pool of pus, now drained each day,
With puffy threads, long filaments 
Afloat upon a sea left free
To sail and find safe harbour moored,
To stay and breed this knotted web
Tight drawn, a glove around the heart
Content to beat but battle bourn…
X-rays and drugs have lost your war,
Afloat above the painful wait
One hand must sign beneath your name
The signature that seals our fate….

4.    Like cigarette packet ne’er read,
The threat of health warnings remain just that…

“That heated day felt poured like molten lead,
My step was faint” he said “and told to go,
To still resist was futile talk”, and sped, 
Quick sent to sterile ward with doors kept shut…
 
No words were said, no blinding judgment spoke,
A long and awkward sentence had been struck…

“A shorter straw is easy drawn, I fear”, he said,
“One backward glance today is quite enough,
But, please, take heart, dear friend, I‘m not yet dead,
This eager soul has no wish to wear on down
That blinding lino floor, find curtained bed
My last retreat from life just half begun….”

5.	To old-time dancing beat 
The shoes beneath wheelchair seat
Part shuffle, part tap;
Relive a past long gone…

Sweet amalgam –  half smile,
Mixed in with tempered frown,
One part nostalgic grin,
Two shots of secret gin….

Alas, no more, a queen
Bestride the dancing floor,
More fish beyond the tide,
A legless mermaid bride…

“O how I miss my mate,
Old John”, she said, with head
Downcast, with mournful eyes 
And happy, tuneful sighs…

6.    The entry hall
Filled with bright light,
So lofty and tall,
Looked more hotel
Than hospital;
A shopping mall
With books and flowers
Fine food, ice-cream,
And café cakes…

Odd customers
In gowns pale white
With underpants
Bespoke a scene
A tad surreal….

Without a blink
Could easy count
Those booked on in… 
Those walking out…!

7.    She wore her make-up bright,
Red lips and cheeks well rouged;
A flash of plastic pearls, 
Glass rubies on her ears;
A matron propped up in bed.
“I feel more cold tonight,”
All said without despair,
“It must be me, my friend
Wore shorts and t-shirt top,
I’m still in winter mode,
A fallen leaf about
To find an earthly end….”

8.    Oh well, I soldier on,
Am quite nimble by lunch,
At tea can bend on down
To tie my dreaded shoes,
At night undress without
Much thought, alas, by dawn 
Will ache as if a plank
Weighed down with concrete bag, 
The timbers cracked and torn
Apart, rejoined with glues
That grip the brittle bone 
As if in armour bourn…!

9.    So sad life’s end, a lengthy lottery drawn
Each moment had the way the numbers fall;
What fated fortune flies on past to call
Your name out loud from ledgers loose and torn,
Sight page’s growing loss; as if in scorn,
More dancing read by chance and change, install
Recurring past –  a bouncing, wrecking ball
Cut down a waking hope… with merest yawn..?
Without recourse to struggling, strangled luck
We blindly waltz our way with gambler’s pluck;
No more in tune with time we scratch our name
Upon the dotted line, what’s done is done,
With parting grin we take our turn for fun,
And stand and wait to meet and greet… the same….

10.   What do older folk talk about
Besides who’s having an affair?
Cheaper coffee, how icy cold 
This global warming’s come of late…
And how to rate Bill’s latest hip
And Mary’s knobbly knees replaced
With shiny titanium pair…
Berate poli’s but please take note:
The elderly kick real-time arse
Thanks to universal health care
And their sensitive, swinging vote….

11.    I fear my friend has died,
His door is shut and name
No more upon the book…

But was discharged this morn
Am told… and said, “so glad 
To see him go,” and nurse 
Agreed…. “Quite a handful,
Such a persistent lad….”

I hear my other friend 
Has died, his door is shut;
Pulled curtain declares the end… 

He was discharged as dead
As expected… and said, 
“So glad to see him go,” 
And nurse agreed…. “Tis sad
Slow death cannot be sped….”

12.   Our ghastly twin, unheard, has come:
Beyond the shade no shadow cast;
We walk away, no hand is shook,
Forgotten fate, a tight-faced corpse
Left talked about, a sheeted shroud –
Upon a bump that hides your frame;
A circus clown, without a smile,
A dreaded sight nowt seen by self;
A date declined; last breathless gasp…
Sees touching hand defied your clasp…!

E’er stalked by death and sweet desire,
We meet with latter for a while
As faithless, frail, a passing cloud…
Whilst land is ploughed or burnt by fire….

				N, 9.2.13.